live. move. be.

I hit the ground running after returning from Thanksgiving, and there hasn't been a moment to breathe since then. Exams, late night rehearsals, work, final projects, and more papers than I've ever written have filled every hour of my days and sleepless nights for the past couple of weeks. My friend Paul okingly proposed recently that a good night's sleep should be a basic human right, mandated by law, and I'm beginning to agree. I just don't function on four hours like I did in high school.

But now, I'm breathing once again. Life is good. I had a few days to relax with my friends in Greensboro after my last exam, and now I'm back home for the holidays. It's marvelous to feel completely free from the anxiety of homework.

Coming out to the end of the semester always feels somewhat strange. Your life has been utterly consumed with academic assignments, and then all of a sudden, it all disappears. No more constant nagging pressure in your mind or guilt when you're doing something just for fun. Suddenly, the priorities that seemed so important, the work that consumed your thoughts....it all seems utterly irrelevant and meaningless. It's something I've thought about a lot this semester, as my classes have utterly dominated my time and mental energy more than ever.

I remember one night a couple of months ago I was sitting in my living room writing a paper, when I heard one of my roommates say on the phone, "Oh, I can't. I really have to stay at home and do homework tonight." Any other time, this would have seemed like a completely ordinary sentance, but all of a sudden, her words hit me as remarkably strange and sad. "We're sitting at home doing homework?" I echoed disbelievingly. I thought about all the people our age around the world who at that very moment were out fighting for food on the streets, taking care of their families, doing hours of backbreaking labor just to get enough money to survive, or countless other pursuits that are infinitely removed from this small academic world of students spending their hours doing arbitrary assignments designated by professors who are also secluded to this small academic world, just so we can get a degree that "means something" because the people from this limited world say it does. Most of the classes required for my two degrees don't even have any practical application for what I want to do with the rest of my life. We talk and write endlessly about all of this theoretical knowledge and pride ourselves on our academic capabilities, but what good does it do in the world? I could tell you some fascinating stuff about global dance history and critical literary theory...but who cares?

I know that's a limited view of education, and I realize that a quality education can be a valuable resource and a foundation for more tangible pursuits. Don't get me wrong, I am normally the first to argue for the value of knowledge for knowledge's sake.....I just think academics can't become the end goal of your life. It's so easy to get caught up in that system of work and reward, when the whole system of grades and gaining professorial approval is so fleeting.

Okay, sorry for the long tangent. This is what happens when I don't write for weeks....

In the stressful final weeks of the semester, here are my top 5 highlights:

1) I was studying one day in the coffee shop down the street from my house, when the subject of foreign languages came up in my conversation with the owner as he served me my latte. He asked if I spoke anything besides English and I replied, "Well, a minimal amount of Czech." His face lit up as he spoke, "Dobry den! Jak se mate?" I was so taken aback ( and remarkably rusty on my Czech skills) that I stammered for a reply, but it certainly made me happy to hear someone speaking it, and made me wish I had more practice.

2) One of my friends gave me The Silmarillion for Christmas. Needless to say, I was thrilled. When most people think of Tolkien, the Lord of the Rings trilogy comes to mind, but Tolkien actually considered The Silmarillion to be his defining life work. He worked on it his whole life, writing stories for it even in his days as a young soldier fighting in the trenches. I've never read the whole thing, but I'm super excited to delve into it over Christmas. We began reading it aloud before I left Greensboro, and it's really beautiful to hear Tolkien's rich mythology spoken out loud.

3) Another coffee shop moment, but this one was on campus (probably some of the worst coffee known to man, but sometimes I get desperate). After one of my bleary-eyed 8 AM choroegraphy rehearsals, I spent a couple of hours writing papers in the coffee shop before my next class. I tend to get very distracted trying to work in public settings, as I can't help my fascination with people-watching. I sat in the corner and observed as student after student came through the line, placing their orders, all of them flippantly ignoring the kind older woman who served them. Without fail, she called each customer "Honey" or "Sweetie" or "Dear," and gave them the same warm smile, no matter how demanding or rude they were. After a long time of watching this interaction, I was starting to feel quite sad for this woman, and surprised at how consumed my fellow students were with their own lives that they couldn't show a bit of cordiality. Then all of a sudden, this guy came to the front of the line, and actually smiled at this woman. Not only did he smile, but he also called her by name, asked her how her family was doing, joked and laughed with her. He was just an average student, just like all the others who ignored her.The fact that someone would take the time to just treat this worker like an actual human being was a wonderfully bright moment of kindness in the middle of my stressful week.

4) Finishing LOST! This is one of the monumental achievements of my year. My friends and I started the series from Season 1 at the beginning of the year, and it's been a year long journey until last week, when we finally finished the emotional finale of Season 4 after many nights of watching episode after episode. I've been behind for so long that it almost feels strange to finally be caught up with the rest of the world. Action, mystery, suspense, romance, philosophy, intriguing chracacters, crazy plotlines....it just doesn't get much better. Season 5 premieres in January, and it can't come a moment too soon. I'm hooked for good.

5)And the crowning moment.....CHRISTMAS PARTY! A night of laughter, live music jams, games, good conversation, and wonderful friends, old and new. My roommates and I hosted a magnificant Christmas celebration at our home, and I must say, I never would have believed how many multitudes of people we could cram into our cozy living room. We cooked some food ourseleves, and then people came through the door with dish after dish....chocolate chunk cookies, gingerbread, baked brie, butternut squash soup, homemade fudge....by the end of the night, we had a table piled high with delicious treats (which fed us for the next few days). As the house got crowded, we decided to take the celebration out into the streets. We walked (in a rather festively dressed mob) around campus, dancing and singing carols at the top of our lungs, speading cheer (and getting quite a few odd looks) wherever we went.

Nothing says Christmas spirit quite like that!
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frequently listening to: "15 Step," by Radiohead and "Everyday," by Buddy Holly