Today was my last day of dance classes. I found myself being oddly melancholy and nostalgic about it. It's pretty hard for adults to take dance classes....finding time is hard enough, not to mention that classes are expensive. I feel so thankful to have had the opportunity to be regularly training in dance technique for ten years now, and it feels like that chapter in my life is closing a little bit now.
Other seniors in my Modern dance class were getting a bit teary eyed today, too. Dance is one of those majors you get kind of attached to. No one studies dance at the university level because they think they're going to make big money or be famous. We do it because we love it and it gives us an extra four years to enjoy and perfect our craft. People don't usually believe it when I tell them, but Dance has been a much harder subject to study than English (my other major). In a regular class, you can show up and kind of tune out behind your desk if you're tired or having a bad day. In dance, you have to be physically active and engaged the entire time. You have to be willing to get critiqued or to just fail as you try to perform a combination. You have to be ready for the possibility of physical injuries (mine have included a pinched nerve in my back, sprained ankles, tendonitis, and more bruises, blisters, scraped knees, and floor burns than I can count).
As I was taking class today, I thought about how exhilarating dance is for me sometimes. Even just in a simple technique class, as you move you often get a sense of being a part of something grand and beautiful. You aren't just sitting back and taking life as it comes to you, you are actively creating and experiencing things in a very visceral, tangible way. There's something transcendent in it that connects me to God and to people in a way I can't quite describe.
Anyway.....I'll miss it.
April 29, 2010 at 10:41 PM
I like that you used the word "visceral".
Oh Kristi I know what you mean. It's hard to think that something you have loved, given your own sweat, time, focus to, something that has given back to your heart, mind, and spirit is now changing dramatically in your life. It feels like the ending of a 10 year relationship. You know it's still there, you still love each other - but you're "just friends" now.
I heart you. I feel you.
You'll find a rhythm again and one day you'll find yourself taking a class again and get all nostalgic and say "I used to dance" and then you'll realize that you still do :) May you find the dance in your everyday life as a college graduate. Dance is never gone from your life - it's just different.